Mid-western woman on brink of panic runs up to me carrying a pair of skinny women's cargos in a size 25. Tells me she really needs my help in picking out the right size pants for a teenage girl, about 15, who is in high school. Why the latter is pertinent to finding the right size, I'm unsure. Pulls out her cell phone and begins reading me a text from the teens mother. "She's a size 28 at Forever 21, a size 3 in juniors, and a size 16 in kids." After taking a moment to silently bereave for the angsty teen whose mother is so out of touch with reality that her daughter is driving and most likely switching outfits on the way to school, she still refers to her in child sizing (Henceforth, I will refer to myself as a kid's 18), I tell her that I can help. In fact, I myself am an exact 28 in Forever 21's pants, and that it translates nicely to a size 28 in this particular brand of skinny cargos. This woman now has three very logical references to draw from in the matter of what size pant to purchase, and yet she appears to be more confused now than ever. She sighs, shakes her head, holds the pants up, and adopts as her new mantra, "This can't be right."
Of course it's not. Bitch, you're holding the 25 still.
The other woman asks me for the second time what size I am. I tell her 28. She blinks at me. They hold up the 28. The woman brings them back over to me and holds them up in the air as if she is holding a tarp. For the final time, they double check with me that I am indeed a size 28 at both Forever 21 and in these particular pants. I consider running full speed into a wall to knock myself out.
"No. Nope." Says the woman. "This cannot be her size. She's a tiny thing. She's just a teenager. She's a beanpole - you know how teenage girls are. There's no way this could fit her - look at these. She isn't nearly this..." She turns sharply to see whether I caught her drift, then instead decides upon, "shape."
Totally. I hate it when pants are only available in the Beaver/Faun cut.
I'm still folding the piles of cargo casualties left on a display table after their purchase-less exit.
